What is the cause?

I'm using Jolanda Tarot for very personal and difficult matters, it seems. I had a very hard time and I was wondering what led to that situation. I pulled cards on St. Andrew's Eve to see it more clearly.

3 of Wands, XI Strength, XVI The Tower

My fire, my creative force (XI) got trapped behind the crates (3/Wands), probably connected to new challenges in my life, meaning becoming a mother. The fire got imprisoned in XVI The Tower and that led to my suffering.

December - monthly read

This month I used Kat Black's Golden Tarot.

Atmosphere of the month, important events: Knight of Cups

Health: 6 of Swords, VI The Lovers

The baby: Ace of Cups

Painting: King of Coins, 2 of Wands

I see myself as Galahad, who sometimes inevitably comes to mind when I look at the Knight of Cups card. I will be searching for my Grail, my new path and health. With the baby I will succeed: the Ace of Cups is there! As for my health, I'm starting a long journey (6/Swords) that should take me to my paradise lost (VI), to my balance and wellbeing. It won't be an easy journey, but it's good that I'm starting it. With painting in December I probably won't make too much of improvement, I see myself stopping again, but maybe that King will use the tools he's looking at?

November - monthly read

This time... I was on time :D

This month I used Tarot of the White Cats.

Atmosphere of the month, important event: XVII The Star

Health: 7 of Wands

Baby: Queen of Wands, XII The Hanged Man

Writing: 7 of Swords, XV The Devil

How I love the method of adding a card into the direction where the person on the card is looking. It makes the reading easier for me. For example, in "Baby" section I pulled the Hanged Man first and then pulled the Queen, which made things more understandable. I did the same with The Devil and 7/Swords.

This month should bring some hope and a chance for self-development (The Star).

With health I still will be struggling, maybe I will have problems with my running due to colder weather (7/Wands).

The baby will still be quite dependent on me (The Hanged Man looking at the Queen of Wands).

With writing things start looking fishy, I should probably be careful... (7/Swords, The Devil).

Edit: the cards look very clear now. 7/Wands for health indeed meant struggle, struggle, struggle... I had a cold and depression issues. I felt like that cat fighting many enemies.
With the baby I felt almost trapped, like the Hanged Man, with no chance of escaping. 7/Swords and The Devil show the moment, when I felt like I was in hell (XV) and went for a walk between 4 and 5 a.m., when it was still dark, with the hood on my head... Just like the cat from 7/Swords card. Then I contacted the publishing house again - and I got an answer. The Star shows, that it was a positive one.

October - almost past

There's still a week of October left, so there might be new things happening. Even so, some of the cards got me confused.

I used Alexander Daniloff deck.

Atmosphere of the month, important event: 8 of Swords, Knight of Coins, Ace of Swords

Health: 3 of Coins

Family: Page of Cups, Knight of Wands, 8 of Wands

Writing: 3 of Swords

The "Atmosphere" part confused me, so I took two more cards (I usually take only one card for such a general thing). I didn't feel trapped or unhappy, in fact the opposite - I started to build my life anew and sort things around me. Then I remembered about the "important event" thing and it fits: there was a moment when I felt really down, it was at the beginning of the month. Then I set new rules and made some hard decisions (Knight, Ace).

I slowly rebuilt my health. I also started running, so I'm working on being fit (3/Coins).

The family part speaks probably about my son: learning new things with getting older.

I haven't heard from the publishing house for a while, so I might get bad - in fact, heart breaking - news, that they won't publish my book in the end. We'll see...

Edit: the month is over and I can say that 3/Swords meant mainly the disappointment of not getting any reply at all. November reading however reveals also not very promising cards.

September - to sum up

Since I'm lacking time for readings (time when I am not sleepy and can focus properly), September went in a blink of an eye - without the monthly read. Moreover, even September is almost gone...

I decided to make a reading about the past - it's also a good exercise.

I used Crystal Tarot.

Atmosphere of the month: IX The Hermit

Health: 3 of Wands, Knight of Coins, Ace of Cups

Family: X The Wheel of Fortune

Writing: VII The Chariot

I think the Hermit tells about my decision to go back home instead of staying longer at my parents' place and live a life on my own.

Health: 3/Wands show some eruption of energy, an injury I got. Then the Knight - my slow convalescence and the Ace - new hope.

With family I had my ups and downs, like in the Wheel :)

Writing: I got a positive response from one publishing house, so there's the victorious Chariot of good news. 

Monthly read - August

I know that I have promised to use a different deck each month, but then I went back home for a couple of months and took only my Jodo-Camoin deck... So here it goes, Tarot de Marseille again.

Atmosphere of the month: 10 of Coins

Health: Knight of Wands, IV Emperor

Family: 5 of Wands, 6 of Cups

Hobby: 5 of Coins, Page of Cups

Friends: XVII The Star

As opposed to lonely July, in August my husband joined me, so my dreams turned into flesh (10 of Cups).

My health will be more stable and I will be much more energetic (Knight/Wands, Emperor). I will be under protection of my family and surrounded by loving people (5/Wands, 6/Cups). As for my hobbies, maybe it will be a time for starting things that I liked anew (5/Coins, Page/Cups). Friends will be pouring to my place, visiting me :) (The Star).

Monthly read - July

Recently I'm working with Tarot de Marseille again, so I used it also for my monthly read. It's a Jodorowsky&Camoin deck.

My first experience with TdM was difficult - I couldn't find my way of reading it, didn't actually "hear" what it was saying. Recently however, after a long break, when I started all over again, something changed and I feel more from the cards. Also  I seem to need less cards to get a message. For example, for my monthly reads I used to pull three cards for every topic. When I pulled from TdM, one card was enough to tell me something (in this month's case, only the "family" part needed more explanation).

So...

Atmosphere of the month, important matters: XVI The Tower (again!)

Health: Knight of Coins

Family: 4 of Wands, 7 of Wands, 7 of Coins

Hobby: 2 of Wands

Friends: 4 of Coins

The Tower from TdM is different than from RWS style decks. It shows me some sort of liberation, being relieved. I'm under a lot of stress now and that may change in July, because I'm visiting my family and staying with them for a longer period.

My health will also improve (Knight/Coins).

My family will be supportive, but some frictions are also possible.

Hobby: is see knitting needles here!

My friends will be visiting me, they will surround me like the coins surround the rectangle in the center.

What's blocking my health - CC

For some time I've had numerous small problems with my health, seemingly not connected to one another, but in my opinion they must have the same root. Of course, I'm working very hard recently, so it's normal I'm having problems, but there are simply too many not to be suspicious. I wanted to search for a reason and made the Celtic Cross spread.

1. The situation - Knight of Wands.

2. What's blocking - 2 of Wands.

3. What's in my mind - 7 of Swords.

4. What's in my heart - Page of Cups.

5. Recent reason for the situation - VIII Justice.

6. Near future - Page of Swords.

7. My attitude towards the problem - Knight of Swords.

8. Influence of the environment - 9 of Cups.

9. My fears and hopes - Page of Pentacles.

10. Further future, result - 7 of Cups.

First of all, I was surprised, that a HALF of the cards were court cards! Not in the "environment" place, though.

Interpretation: I have to work hard, like "pulling the chariot of the Knight of Wands. The situation is very demanding, but I'm still not quite there, I don't feel prepared enough (2/Wands). In my mind I have many dark, depressive thoughts, slithering like snakes in my head (7/Swords). In my heart I'm still only a Page, not mature enough for the new situation (Page/Cups), I miss some of my freedom.

The cause of my situation: I was thrown out of balance (VIII Justice) by some revolutionary events. In near future I will be still asking questions (Page/Swords).

My attitude towards the problem: I want to cut it off as soon as possible (Knight/Swords). My environment is supporting me (9/Cups). My fears are that of an adolescent one (Page/Pentacles). In the end I'll find some emotional wisdom (Sphinx as a symbol of knowledge on 7/Cups).

By the way, I think Jolanda Tarot is an incredible deck, but looks really ugly with these purple frames. I can't trim it though, because I don't know the imagery by heart and it's far from being "classical".

Monthly read - June

Since I don't have much time now, I decided to read for myself at least once per month. Each time I'll use a different tarot deck. This time I chose Tarot of the Magic Forest.

Atmosphere of the month, important matters: XVI The Tower.

Health: 8 of Swords, XI Strength, XX The Judgement

Family: Ace of Pentacles, 7 of Swords, 10 of Cups

Hobbies and creative life: Page of Pentacles, Knight of Wands, XVIII The Moon

June will probably be exciting! The Tower promises a sudden change.

Health: I will struggle, feel trapped (8/Swords) (I already have some problems now), but the good result will be up my inner strength (XI) and I should be able to revive to full health (XX).

Family: my problem and tiredness (7/Swords) will be soothed by family's helping hand (Ace/Pents, 10/Cups).

Hobbies and creative life: contacts with some young people (Page, Knight), maybe some hopes, but vague.

Why the break

I didn't write here for quite a while. There were however reasons for it and I will present them with three tarot cards. I wonder if it is understandable :)
Anyhow, I don't know when will I have some time to write here. I hope soon!

Twelve Houses - an exercise

Le Stelle on her blog made a wonderful example of how to use the Twelve Houses spread, otherwise known as Astrological Wheel. She made the example on an imaginary client. This made me instantly want to make a similar exercise :) As my guinea pig I used a character from a story I wrote - I know mostly everything about him :D His name is Vri.

So this is my exercise done according to Le Stelle's:

1st House, Aries, Fire: psychic condition of the querent. XVIII The Moon

2nd House, Taurus, Earth: money, earthly goods. King of Cups

3rd House, Gemini, Air: people close to us (more distant relatives, friends), but not the family that lived with the querent. 5 of Pentacles

4th House, Cancer, Water: emotions, closest family. King of Wands

5th House, Leo, Fire: children and small pleasures in querent's life. IV The Emperor

6th House, Virgo, Earth: working place and environment. 7 of Wands

7th House, Libra, Air: relationships, atmosphere at home, partner of the querent. 9 of Swords

8th House, Scorpio, Water: things hidden, secrets, sexuality. 10 of Pentacles

9th House, Sagittarius, Fire: learning, exploring, traveling. Queen of Wands

10th House, Capricorn, Earth: career, social status. VI The Lovers

11th House, Aquarius, Air: people more distant to the querent, exchanging of thoughts. 3 of Wands

12th House, Pisces, Water: what the querent doesn't expect. 2 of Swords

Card in the middle: a summing up card. 3 of Swords

Le Stelle advises to read a card with cards next to it and the card on the opposite side of the Wheel.

1. The Moon, 2/Swords, King/Cups, 9/Swords.

Vri is in a very bad psychological condition. He just came back home and realised that a lot of things changed and his loved one doesn't feel the same about him, because he selfishly left her for so long. He now understands (King/Cups) he was delusional (The Moon), that he hurt her deeply (9/Swords) and she's not so likely to forgive him easily (2/Swords).

2. King/Cups, The Moon, 5/Pentacles, 10/Pentacles.

He doesn't eve think about money. He can loose everything (5/Pents), he can be wealthy (10/Pents) for he brought marvelous things from his travels, but he thinks more about emotions now (King/Cups, The Moon).

3. 5/Pents, King/Cups, King/Wands, Queen/Wands.

The triangle is very well shown here: a crisis (5/Pents) between him (King/Cups), his love (Queen/Wands) and her lawful husband (King/Wands).

4. King/Wands, 5/Pents, The Emperor, The Lovers.

He would like to regain his position (King/Wands) with his love, the queen (The Lovers), but her husband's position (The Emperor) is stronger than ever.

5. The Emperor, King/Wands, 7/Wands, 3/Wands.

Well, he just learned about a new child in his love's life and he also tries to be a father to his own son (The Emperor). He wants to fight for that (7/Wands) with his rival (King/Wands) and he'll do whatever he can (3/Wands).

6. 7/Wands, The Emperor, 9/Swords, 2/Swords.

Courtiers don't exactly know how to welcome him back at court (2/Swords), but they can see that he's not the queen's favourite anymore (7/Wands), the king (The Emperor) is stronger, so they allow themselves to be a bit nasty to him (9/Swords), especially in words.

7. 9/Swords, 7/Wands, 10/Pents, The Moon.

That's bad... There's grief and grudge (9/Swords), chaos (7/Wands) and distrust (The Moon), but the only light in that dark tunnel is 10/Pents: she didn't give up being family with him completely.

8. 10/Pents, 9/Swords, Queen/Wands, King/Cups.

He secretly wants a real home (10/Pents), but instead of that he keeps hurting (9/Swords) her (Queen/Wands) and well, he loves her in his own, weird way (King/Cups).

9. Queen/Wands, 10/Pents, The Lovers, 5/Pents.

He traveled selfishly, not thinking about other people (Queen/Pents), but that is going to stop (the Queen stumps on an Sagittarius' arrow), because from now on he's to create a more stable relationship (10/Pents) and she will probably forgive him in the end (The Lovers). 5/Pents added here looks like overcoming the crisis.

10. The Lovers, Queen/Wands, 3/Wands, King/Wands.

And he regains his position! (King/Wands, 3/Wands) thanks to the queen (Queen/Wands) loving him (The Lovers).

11. 3/Wands, The Lovers, 2/Swords, The Emperor.

The courtiers may not like him (2/Swords), but they can see that things changed (3/Wands) and it's time to respect him again, because of the influence he has on the queen (The Lovers, The Emperor).

12. 2/Swords, 3/Wands, The Moon, 7/Wands.

He doesn't expect that his not easily gained balance (2/Swords) will soon fall apart (7/Wands), it won't stay the same (3/Wands), because the destiny feared by his queen is approaching (The Moon).

Sum-up card: 3/Swords.

Vri caused a lot of havoc and pain, but that situation will change. His love will forgive him... but there won't be any happiness forever.

This was interesting! And fits the story so well! The next step you can make is to look at the triangles created by the elements (Fire as career, Earth as money and physical health, Swords as intellectual sphere and Cups for feelings), but I think I've quite exhausted the topic here, so I'll stop now :)

Three Kings' Eve - Part IV

APRIL: XX Judgement, X Wheel of Fortune, 6 of Wands

The Queen will receive some news, that will give her new energy (Judgement) and will cause a change in her life (Wheel of Fortune). She will find new goals and new strength to try and achieve those goals (6/Wands).

Painting or knitting?

I learned how to knit when I was a kid. My grandma is a very talented person and knitting is her great love. She taught me how to knit, but after that I didn't knit much. I made some scarves, but never anything more complicated in shape. Recently my interest came back and I really got into knitting - with You Tube and many free patterns on the net it is easier than ever before.

I got so caught up, that I stopped painting. My last watercolour was painted in November... So I asked the cards, is it right? What is best for me now? Painting or knitting? If I feel like knitting now, should I try and paint something? It's not easy after a few months break...

I pulled 5 cards:

1. Painting. XX The Judgement

2. (at the bottom) Why? XVII The Star

3. Knitting. 7 of Wands

4. (at the bottom) Why? 10 of Coins

5. (in the middle) Advice. 7 of Coins

I think that the advice from the cards is not to worry and wait until I naturally go back to painting (7/Coins). That is because painting will come back to my life, like dead people from the graves (Judegement) and that is because I like it a lot and can achieve a lot on that field. I will probably get a bit tired of knitting (7/Wands), because I'll overdo it (10/Coins). But anyway I shouldn't rush things - it will all change naturally.

Three Kings' Eve - Part III

MARCH: VII The Chariot, King of Cups, 8 of Coins

In March The Queen will be able to show her good sides and succeed in her tasks (The Chariot), but not without hard work (8/Coins) and being considerate (Kings/Swords).

Wonderful three cards

Recently I really started to appreciate the simplicity and usefulness of the three cards spread. Apart from a one card reading, it's the simplest you can get, and yet this spread is often so helpful. Of course, you can use very complicated spreads for deeper meditation, but you can also include three card spreads in those larger ones.

I used The Star spread a lot, because it's so versatile, but I often had a feeling I do not grasp something. With three cards spread, a story appears. Cards start to "talk" to each other, to correspond. And just recently I started to understand them better. It's been around year and a half since I started learning tarot. It seems I needed this year and a half to reach the next step - to intuitively grasp the meaning of the set of cards. As a smaller segment of a larger entity, three cards are a great start.

Three Kings' Eve - Part II

FEBRUARY: I The Magician, 2 of Swords, Page of Swords

February will give The Queen an opportunity to use her skills (The Magician), but she won't be sure (2/Swords) if she is skilled enough for the tasks that are before her (Page/Swords).

Three Kings' Eve - part I

For some reasons I don't pull cards for myself too much lately, so my blog is a bit abandoned. But I read cards for K., who gave me her kind permission to write about it here. She only asked to be called The Queen on this blog :) In fact, I think the nickname "Queen of Cups" fits her best.

I read in one of Hajo Banzhaf's books about "Three Kings' Eve" custom. "Three Kings" is another name for Epiphany holiday and it commemorates three Magi paying homage to infant Jesus. The custom says that you can foresee what happens to you in the upcoming year, if you pull one card on each day - starting with Christmas. The last card will be pulled on Three Kings' Eve. One day represents one month of the new year. In Poland many people (especially highlanders) write down weather on each day of that period - it's supposed to give them the idea of weather in each month.

So every day starting with Christmas, I pulled cards for The Queen, but instead of one card I decided on three - to make a story out of it.

Yes, this gorgeous Kat Black's deck is a Christmas present from me to myself...

JANUARY: 10 of Coins, 0 The Fool, 3 of Cups.

I believe that January will start with some activities that will bring her long-waited money. It will probably be connected to her teaching skills (the woman with the book on 10/Coins). January will also bring new things (The Fool), which is as well, because she's just went abroad to study for three weeks. It's an opportunity to meet new people and gain new contacts - maybe she'll meet people with whom she can later do some projects together?