What is the cause?

I'm using Jolanda Tarot for very personal and difficult matters, it seems. I had a very hard time and I was wondering what led to that situation. I pulled cards on St. Andrew's Eve to see it more clearly.

3 of Wands, XI Strength, XVI The Tower

My fire, my creative force (XI) got trapped behind the crates (3/Wands), probably connected to new challenges in my life, meaning becoming a mother. The fire got imprisoned in XVI The Tower and that led to my suffering.

What's blocking my health - CC

For some time I've had numerous small problems with my health, seemingly not connected to one another, but in my opinion they must have the same root. Of course, I'm working very hard recently, so it's normal I'm having problems, but there are simply too many not to be suspicious. I wanted to search for a reason and made the Celtic Cross spread.

1. The situation - Knight of Wands.

2. What's blocking - 2 of Wands.

3. What's in my mind - 7 of Swords.

4. What's in my heart - Page of Cups.

5. Recent reason for the situation - VIII Justice.

6. Near future - Page of Swords.

7. My attitude towards the problem - Knight of Swords.

8. Influence of the environment - 9 of Cups.

9. My fears and hopes - Page of Pentacles.

10. Further future, result - 7 of Cups.

First of all, I was surprised, that a HALF of the cards were court cards! Not in the "environment" place, though.

Interpretation: I have to work hard, like "pulling the chariot of the Knight of Wands. The situation is very demanding, but I'm still not quite there, I don't feel prepared enough (2/Wands). In my mind I have many dark, depressive thoughts, slithering like snakes in my head (7/Swords). In my heart I'm still only a Page, not mature enough for the new situation (Page/Cups), I miss some of my freedom.

The cause of my situation: I was thrown out of balance (VIII Justice) by some revolutionary events. In near future I will be still asking questions (Page/Swords).

My attitude towards the problem: I want to cut it off as soon as possible (Knight/Swords). My environment is supporting me (9/Cups). My fears are that of an adolescent one (Page/Pentacles). In the end I'll find some emotional wisdom (Sphinx as a symbol of knowledge on 7/Cups).

By the way, I think Jolanda Tarot is an incredible deck, but looks really ugly with these purple frames. I can't trim it though, because I don't know the imagery by heart and it's far from being "classical".

St. Andrew's Eve

St. Andrew's Eve (29.11) in Poland is a special night - a night for fortunetelling! Traditionally it was for young girls to ask when and to whom they will get married, but also what will happen in the forthcoming year and other questions. I thought it would be a good time to ask a question that's been bugging me for years now.

There was a person in my life with whom the relationship was always difficult. We were strongly drawn to each other, but he couldn't make up his mind of what he wants from me, which caused a lot of suffering, of course. Even though the pulling towards him was so strong, that recently I started suspecting, that maybe we've met in former lives? In fact, I'm not even sure if I believe in reincarnation, but somehow the idea appeared in my mind. Although I haven't been romantically involved with him for years, the problem still bothers me.

So I asked the cards whether we've met before and what to do. I used Jolanda Tarot for the first time and the power of the message surprised me!

The middle row:

1. Who I was? VI The Lovers

2. How was our first meeting? XIX The Sun

3. Who was he? King of Wands

The one card below:

4. What is the reason of our relations being so complicated? 4 of Cups

Three cards at the bottom:

5-7. What happened in the past? 10 of Swords, 5 of Swords, Queen of Swords

Three cards at the top:

8-10. The path to heal that relation. 2 of Cups, 3 of Cups, XII The Hanged Man.

So if we've met, we were important to each other, maybe even a married couple, but there came a lot of suffering (probably to him - 5 of Swords), maybe because of me (Queen of Swords). The Swords are so expressive... That's why he was reluctant to be with me and at the same time drawn to me. The things I can do: continue as friends, be kind to him, not do anything harsh and maybe some meditation would be good. But everything should be fine. I see peace there.

Well... Who knows? :)